Women and Men with Different Messages?
Dear friends of women in science,
I recently returned to California from Yale Biology's Alumni Reunion, a weekend conference. Many people spoke in panels, and the organizers had asked them to say something about their career paths.
One of the earliest panels was about history of biology at Yale. Two men spoke, one of whom was a chemist. They were interesting, but I would have liked to hear about when Yale became more inclusive. For sure, they beat Princeton by a mile in admitting women for graduate study. Instead, I enjoyed visiting the women's fountain designed by Maya Lin in Cross Campus, in front of Sterling Library. Google it if you haven't seen it.
The next panel was on ecology and evolution, and was supposed to have two women and a man but it was the other way around because someone could not come. It was all science, including the career paths. The following panel, on cellular and molecular biology, included five women and a man, Nobel laureate Tom Steitz, husband of my biography subject Joan Steitz. What these women said about career path included both science work and family life. They showed pictures of their kids. One talked about the rare genetic disease her child had as a motivation for some of her research. Tom didn't go there; he just talked about his beautiful work on ribosomes, including some stunning animations of their action. I was pleased to find he credited his collaborators at every step.
The trend continued into the following panels. On the final morning, the CEO of a major publishing house talked about her family during her presentation, instead of during an introduction. She said she had taken two back-to-back childcare leaves when her two children were born in England. Then, when she was offered her present job, she said she had several strikes against her with the old guard, including being a scientist, being a woman, and being a person with non-obvious ethnicity.
I was blown away by the honesty of these women, and I only wish you could have heard them yourself. I don't know if they were so open because it was Yale alums and they were too, so I don't want to give their names, but I'll never forget a single one of them. It was really inspiring.
Have you heard women say things like this in a scientific setting?
cheers,
Laura
While it may be true that women are more likely to talk about our children in a professional setting than men, it is not safe to assume that women are more open to sharing intimate information than men. It is more likely than women are expected to justify our absence from the home and confirm that we are fulfilling our primary responsibility, that of the well-being of our children, in addition to the responsibilities of our careers. Men, on the other hand, are seen as fulfilling their responsibilities to their families by having successful careers, and so are not under pressure to justify their work.
An experience by of a coworker of mine is an excellent example. She recently testified to a panel of Utah lawmakers regarding the environmental effects of uranium mining. Rather than responding to her statement, the panelists demanded to know who takes care of her children when she is not home.
The expectations for women to be primarily caregivers and secondarily enter the workforce is reinforced by our political media, such as when Ann Romney disputed Hilary Rosen's claim that she "had never worked a day in her life" by claiming that her career was being a mother, which is the hardest job in the world.
While parenting can be difficult for all of us, and it may be true that it was exceptionally so for Mrs. Romney, calling it the most difficult job in the world is a stretch. After all, most of us do it, often more than once. However, the idea that parenting is a woman's primary responsibility, and that a successful career is a man's primary responsibility, is an obvious explanation for the dichotomous behavior of male versus female professionals. Imagine if Mrs. Romney were running for office, and Mitt had spent his life as a stay-at-home dad. When accused of never working for a paycheck, Mr. Romney would have been ridiculed rather than outraged. It is this dichotomous social expectation that encourages women in science to validate our work with disclaimers that our families are not suffering due to the time and energy we spend on our careers.
In a setting like the one you describe, I'd say more than 50% of the time women will talk about work/life balance and particularly how much they enjoy their families and made changes to accomodate them. Men are less than 5%. And in a truly scientific setting like at a conference I've never observed this unless it's at a networking table or event where the topic is work/life balance.
I don't think it's odd, it's simply a reflection of when it is appropriate to talk about family. And it's not that men never do this. I still recall listening to our former CEO express his strong regret that he doesn't really know his own children. And his hope that others would learn from his regrets. He even got a little teared up about it..but perhaps that's the difference. Men express their regret at the end of career/life for what they didn't do. Women express how they did something about it when they had the chance!
Hi Laura,
I am afraid Kara is right. Women can't do things like this, no matter how much they might want to, if they hope men will take them seriously. I'm sure it was just because it was a closed conference for alums and the speakers knew you folks. Too bad!
CQ
Good grief, Laura, they dare not! It's hard enough to get the guys to take you seriously enough without a picture of the kids! KM
