Sheryl Sandberg Interview on Book TV
Dear friends of women in science,
Sheryl Sandberg, author of Lean In and COO of Facebook, was interviewed on Book TV by Eric Schmidt of Google, her former boss and admirer. He asked a lot of interesting questions, one of which was, why do you advise women to use stereotypes to their advantage in asking for raises? Sheryl said she tells women to smile, to say "we," and to go ahead and ask for more money because that's what works. She knows it's it's using the stereotypes men have of women and playing them for gain, but she wants the women to succeed and rise to the top. She has hopes that in another generation, if all the upward-bound women lean in and work for each others' success, that advice won't be needed. There won't be male leaders and female leaders then, just leaders. She also said that she cannot deny that there is a genetically determined difference in behavior, but she is quite sure leadership is not genetically biased in favor of men. Some aspects of it are easier for men, some easier for women, she said.
Sandberg talked about her daughter, who learned a song about Presidents, and after singing it asked, 'Mommy, why are they all boys?" She thinks that isn't necessarily so in the future, and looks forward to a woman president in 2016 she said.
One suggestion she had for men who want to help women rise is, try to take women and men you want to mentor to the same kind of meals. If you aren't comfortable taking a younger woman out to dinner, then take all your mentees to breakfast or lunch, and don't spend longer quality time with just the men. She also suggested emphasizing skills over experience when hiring, and recognizing the incredible talent for multitasking and organization that women with children can bring to business.
She said, in answer to an audience question, that she has given workshops to female employees about dressing for success. Whatever the professionals in your field wear is the best choice, be it jeans rather than cutoffs, or a suit rather than a sundress. Realize that others will judge you by how well your clothing reflects your sense of the culture around you, she suggests. But then she made a face and said she didn't really feel comfortable giving this kind of advice, but did it because she knows it makes a difference in success. She tries to be pragmatic and play for the long-term success of the women.
What do you think, can women cooperate to help everyone succeed or will they compete and try to out-jockey each other on the way up?
cheers,
Laura
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Thanks Ilona for passing along the link!
I wanted to share this report from McKinsey on how women fare in the corporate pipeline on a related note. It's a terrific summary of the problem we face.
http://www.mckinsey.com/client_service/organization/latest_thinking/women_at_work
Enjoy!
Helen
Hi Ilona,
Thanks for finding and posting the link! I watched on the "real tv" and didn't know it was still available. It's well worth watching, I think.
cheers,
Laura
Hi Helen,
I sympathize. It was always important to me to "be myself" in how I dressed and reacted, but when people got demoralized by my not complimenting them on "just doing their jobs" when I was dean, I used reminder notes...if that's what people needed, I wanted to make sure I didn't stand in the way of their success by accident. It was harder to give up my tennis shoes for real women's shoes, but I went there too. I still think I was able to keep my essence of being someone who played fair and listened to all sides, but who had the backs of my team when others were not on board. Those things were important to me to keep going. I think Sandberg (and you) would agree.
best,
Laura
Hi Livi,
Nice to hear that your experience is of cooperative women in the workplace! I've heard similar complaints but also lots of positive reactions. I think it's clear she's pro-success for women and pro-family-career balance, two things that matter a lot to me.
cheers,
Laura
Hi Laura,
I'm fortunate that in my new reporting structure, I have women at the highest levels of my organization. And those women support all their talent regardless of gender. Another point I liked in the Sandberg book is the calling out of the different between mentorship and sponsorship. I have many mentors and few sponsors. Some mentors have become sponsors over time, but that is a rare occurrence. Distinguishing what those two very different relationships are/mean seems tough for women and intuitive for men. I'm helping my own mentees distinguish them early, and hope this helps them with their own career progression.
I resonated with multiple lessons from the Lean In book and her practical advice on using what works is something I employ in my own career development.
As much as I would like to "be myself" i.e. a bit abrasive, very blunt and rather causally dressed, that's just not going to move me forward in my career in a large company.
So I do what it takes and adjust to the environment. I'm always conscious of how I'm viewed. I have notes on my desk reminding me to "be nice" and always say "please and thank you" unlike many of my male colleagues. Because being a woman means you are judged more harshly from both men and women for likeability. To ignore that fact gets one nowhere fast. I hope it does change in the future, but likely won't in my career lifetime (next 20yrs).
Helen
For those interested, you can find the BookTV interview here, at right: http://www.booktv.org/Program/14514/Lean+In+Women+Work+and+the+Will+to+Lead.aspx
Hi Laura--
I have always felt that the older generation of women projected this idea that women are back-stabbers but that didn't match my own experience, where women always seemed to be cooperative and helpful. Nice to see Sandberg championing more of this to help us get ahead in the world. I think she's great. I know some uber feminists who claim she's too well-dressed and too family oriented, but I say she's a success story and worth emulating!
LRM
