More about First Female X
Interesting, Marian for Math. I am a recovering emotion-hider and it is very good to hear that it is not essential to being a breakthrough woman to bury one's emotions. I wish I had discovered that earlier!
Emotions are very important and if you work to bury them and ignore them, you form bad habits that take a lot of time and trouble to root out afterwards.
best,
Laura
Definitely agree that FFs are driven. I remember a male fellow grad student once commenting "Professor X gives all the girls A's" He didn't even think about how unusual his female counterparts were, in terms of background, drive, work, etc. We were better than average to start with and worked harder.
FFs are also thick skinned. We have to be.
As a FF, I disagree with your comment about emotions. I definitely show them -- there's an up side and a down side. I think those whom I am mentoring appreciate seeing an emotional, caring person. Bosses and colleagues are a mixed bag -- emotions can trip definitely you up on your way to the top.
I think that I hold the women I mentor to a higher standard than the men -- if they screw up it reflects badly on all women; an unfortunate fact. Maybe that will change someday?
Hi Amanda and Narcis,
I guess women who are FF also tend not to be open about their emotions, since in a way they are "passing" as men and men hide emotions. So yes, they have feelings but the average person they interact with probably sees few of them. At least that's how it seems to me.
cheers,
Laura
PS SS Woman: I do feel I've bounced back to some degree, but it has been 11 years since I stepped down from VP. It's a slow process.
I am amazed to think that while those FF are stepping on me as they thrust their way to the next powerful man they want to impress, they care about how they represent all women. It seems like those two behaviors/feelings don't go together. But I guess people do harbor conflicting desires and feelings, not always showing them to others.
You need a lot of hutzpah to barge in where you are not wanted, and the FF had to do that at least to some extent. If not in that position, at earlier points in her life when she was trying to prepare for leadership in that area, she encountered men who did not want her there. So a thick skin probably is inevitable. Less sensitive than even she would have been under different circumstances. Laura, so do you feel like you have recovered at all from being put into this position earlier in your career?
I agree that FFs are driven. It's hard sometimes to see if they are driven by ego or by wanting to avoid shame to women in general. They seem to go for the maximum in achievement for themselves and be less attuned to how others around them are doing. They are much more like men, as far as I can see. It's interesting that you felt that was rooted in a hope to do well for the good of all women.
