Is Leaning In Too Much To Ask?
Hi friends of women in science,
Susan Forsburg recently alerted me to a critique of Sandberg's Leaning In, which we've discussed on the forum several times. In Cap Times online, Rosa Brooks, a professor at Georgetown University, details all the activities that she had demanded of herself in the name of Leaning In. It's a formidable list. This short quotation will give you some idea of the satirical tone of the piece: "Long ago, before Sandberg's book "Lean In" convinced me to change my ways, I had a life. I had friends, family, children. I had hobbies. I had a job, too, of course, but I also took occasional vacations, knocked off work at a sensible hour and got eight hours of sleep each night. Then I read "Lean In" and realized that I was self-sabotaging slacker."
Now, she says, she upped for two demanding jobs at once regularly, accepted invitations to inconvenient conference speaking engagements, became room-parent for her daughter's class, said yes when older colleagues saw her as an up-and-comer and offered still more plum assignments, did radio interviews over Skype while monitoring math homework of her daugher, etc. etc. Brooks had an epiphany of hating Sandberg, then realized that ubiquity won't work for her or most women because of two jobs: work and homework (housework, parenting).
We've talked in this forum before about "more is better" and how insidious it can be as a concept at work, where if women can't do more at night, men can and get the promotions, but then they are drawn out of family life. Brooks is arguing for a less is more approach. She'd like to see quality over quantity of involvement of women at work and at home. She can't live any longer with accepting all opportunities.
I'm pretty sure some women can, and maybe those are the ones destined for the top. I have to agree with Rosa Brooks that reflection time and family time, and just quality time with job one at work, need to be respected and valued. We need to build those in first and then see what time is left for leaning in.
cheers,
Laura
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Laura--Thanks for sharing this. I talk about these kind of issues with my mentees and junior women in my workplace often. I recently started a coffee club for women at my level just so we could discuss the commitments required to move up to the next level at our company. And not surprisingly, there was a split. Some women were already leaning in and wanted to do whatever it took. Others felt like they were maxed out and couldn't do more if they tried. And those women were very clear--they didn't want to "lean-in" but were being forced to externally by their managers. (Our company operates on an up or out mentality.)
To me the big question is what does success look like for you? And what do you need to do to make that happen? Because that defines in large part how much you really need to do. And there should be respect for the majority who don't want leadership roles for various reasons. But for those of us who do want the C suite--we do what it takes to get there. And its for those women that the Lean In book resonates.
Cheers,
Helen
Laura--
I am feeling overwhelmed right now so this struck a chord with me. We need to set boundaries. I don't demand the right to veg, but I do need family time. I suppose Sandberg can afford constant caregivers, but for those of us who cook and clean and love our kids, we need more room and less demands. Or 5 hour energy. Or something. I don't hate Sheryl Sandberg, but I do see where Brooks is coming from.
Livi
Hi Laura,
This article reminds me of when I was a junior faculty member and thought I couldn't say no to anything. I think even in Leaning In, there IS a happy medium to be achieved. You can even become nationally visible without losing touch with your family and yourself, if you select carefully what you jump into and hold back from. So it seems to me!
SSW
