Applying for a faculty job is surprisingly analogous to dating. I screen job adverts and respond to those that look like good matches. If a search committee decides that I'm an attractive candidate, it will suggest that we meet face-to-face to get to know each other.

As I prepare my interview outfit and my research talk, I wonder when I'll no longer have to apply to search committees that never call or e-mail me back. I daydream that I'll soon be out of the job market and in a committed relationship with a department that appreciates my research and doesn't have unrealistic teaching expectations.

During my interview I build a rapport with potential colleagues as we share our research interests and future aspirations for the department. We explore whether we might become better scientists by working together. Our discussion might become more intimate: how do I feel about collaboration? How many graduate students would I like to work with?

Light-headed, I return home and wait for news. I restrain myself from serially checking e-mail or from hovering by the phone. Time passes and I wonder why the search committee hasn't called. Perhaps it is busy, or on holiday, or maybe its mother is ill. Would it respond well to a music mix tape? Maybe it's just not that into me. As a distraction, I throw myself into other job applications. Someday soon I'm sure I'll meet that perfect search committee — and we'll know for certain that we are meant to be together.