Dentistry is facing a crisis according to a report in a national tabloid newspaper. Apparently there is an alleged shortage of dentists due to excess partying. The article claims that dentists are showing blatant disregard for workplace standards, drinking sherry at their leisure and eating chocolate yule log in the dental chair. One section of the story points to 50% of staff members 'being totally unaware of which practice they work for', and simply turning up in scrubs at any practice ready to work. A further 24% of practices are reporting unidentified damage to their photocopier machines, with patients also complaining about 'running a mistletoe gauntlet' on their way to the examination room.

According to one dentist, he wished it could be Christmas every day, as he was particularly fond of children singing and bands playing. Another described how last Christmas she gave a colleague her loupes and the very next day they gave them away, so this year she won't be repeating the same mistake and will give them to someone special.

The dentist shortfall is likely to cause significant problems for patients hoping to be seen in the Christmas period. Singer Chris Masse said: 'I drive home for Christmas all the time just to see my dentist. After Christmas dinner it's our family tradition to visit the dental surgery as we're pretty tired from the day. Instead of cleaning our teeth we enjoy a good scale and polish. To hear that we might not be able to do this as he's run off with six elves and a partridge in a pear tree is shocking.'

A BDA spokesperson condemned the article as being wholly unfounded but added that it was significant for a tabloid in that for once it didn't mention money.'

Important note to readers

This content has been created for the entertainment of readers in the spirit of seasonal good humour and, on the whole, possesses not an ounce of truth. All persons, products, URLs and email addresses mentioned have been invented by the BDJ Editorial Team.