In the financial turmoil of the last few years scant attention has been given to the welfare of tooth fairies, so claims their professional association, the Society of Tooth Fairies (STF). Writing in the journal Nocturnal Operatives, current STF President, Featherdown Diver (winner of the 2016 Tinkerbell Award for Outstanding Contribution to Pillow Lifting Dexterity) points out the little known fact that the trade-in value of teeth received by her members is controlled by the commodity market based on the value left under the pillow by parents. As that cash value falls so does the amount received per tooth on the FTE (Fairy Tooth Exchange).

The average amount left for children plummeted from an all-time high in early 2008 of an average of £2.05 to a low in 2016 (most recent figures available from London Hard Tissue Commodity Exchange Regulator) of £1.56. This represents not just a fall of 24% but something approaching 35% in real terms when set against cost of living.

Featherdown continued, 'throughout this period costs have also risen as parents have been increasingly security conscious. This has meant our members have had to invest in more sophisticated anti-detection systems, not to mention the increased cost of flying and wing maintenance.' Add to this the weighting effect of fewer extractions in the higher socio-economic groups where tooth fairy deposits are usually greatest and life becomes hard for the night-time calcific collectors.

Asked if she thought that the deficit was likely to lead to her members quitting the profession for alternative jobs, the President pointed out that few were trained for any other positions and those who had tried employment such as toenail recycling had soon returned to the tooth world. In a closing plea to parents to up the stakes she asked for consideration for the unseen workforce who make such a difference to gappy young lives.

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