It's hard to excel in all facets of life. Every hour spent with friends, family or hobbies is one less hour of data collection or paper reading.

For me, this means I sometimes feel I have to choose between being a successful scientist and having a successful relationship. I'd like to work long hours, eat when I want and sleep when I want. But my husband works a nine-to-five job, so how can I justify working evenings and weekends? I have colleagues whose partners work in the same lab or are also PhD students, which may make it easier, but when it comes down to it being alone is the simplest option.

A speaker at a recent seminar was asked how he had achieved so much. He said he had made many sacrifices: developing blots at 3 a.m. in the lab left little time for a girlfriend. In May, an article in NatureJobs suggested that being a good graduate student meant working 60-hour weeks on little pay. All this requires sacrifices. But in the end, will a Nature paper keep you warm at night? Will you end up looking back at your life and wishing you had told that person you loved them or spent more time with your kids? I wonder: if I want a rich personal life, am I destined to be mediocre?