In September, I will complete my graduate coursework and gain a Masters of Science degree. The next stage — DPhil, the Oxonian PhD — is now in sight.

But the vision of my scientific future is not becoming much clearer. A feeling of déjà vu dominated the past few months. It reminded me of the uncertainties I underwent when first considering what to do after medical training and, more recently, deciding to receive more academic training after earning an MSc. Enrolling in research training in a lab and subject I don't know very well feels like a recurring theme in my life — making long-term commitments based on little information. So far, I think I've made good decisions, and remain on track, but I still harbour apprehension and doubts about the next move. Many factors come into play, such as thoughts about how promising the project is and if I will get along with the team. My analytical ego has no reservations about the latter point and the first one is unforeseeable. So I go for it. With slight discomfort.

A second issue should have cheered me up but instead helped me procrastinate; I received two offers. So, on top of my uncertainty about continuing with a PhD came the question of whom to work with. I felt bad about turning one bid down, especially because I liked the lab and the team as much as the one I accepted.

Now it's time to sit through this period of doubtfulness, and hope I will find out that I made the right decision again.