Published online 25 July 2007
Postdoc journal
Isolation
Moira Sheehan
Moira Sheehan is a postdoc in plant breeding and genetics at Cornell University.
Maternity leave makes me miss the lab.
I had mixed feelings about maternity leave last time I had a baby, and I still do. Of course, it is absolutely necessary for a healthy recovery and for attachment to your new child. However, I felt the extreme isolation.
I have always worked, which has shaped my self-image. The absence of work, coupled with new associations with non-working mothers, made me feel like a stranger in a strange land. What made it worse was that I felt guilty for wanting to put my child in another person's care so I could return to work, even though this was undoubtedly the right choice for me. I had to brave comments wondering why I'd had children if I hadn't planned on raising them — a heartless statement! I had to hide my excitement that my husband would soon be arriving home to give me some time away from the baby. I didn't talk about how I longed to have an adult conversation that doesn't centre on baby issues of any kind.
Maternity leave isn't relaxing or magical for me. I am never more than a few feet from a helpless, crying baby. I do love children, though, and the fact that babies grow up is one reason I chose to be a parent. But I look forward to returning to work — and I look forward to showing my kids that mothers work just as much as fathers.
Postdoc Journal Keepers 2007
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Moira SheehanMoira Sheehan is a postdoc in plant breeding and genetics at Cornell University.
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Peter JordanPeter Jordan is a visiting fellow at the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases in Bethesda, Maryland.
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Maria Ocampo-HafallaMaria Thelma Ocampo-Hafalla is a research fellow at Cancer Research UK's London Research Institute.
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Chris RowanChris Rowan is a postdoctoral student in the geology department at the University of Johannesburg, South Africa.
